Different Bridges, Same River

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a performance by a winner of American Idol because my son had a chance to sit in with his opening act. 

The singer, Kris Allen, got to debut some new songs off his soon-to-be-released album.  One of those songs was called Different Bridges, Same River.  How appropriate it was that he was singing it here in Pittsburgh where we have a lot of bridges.

When I listened to the lyrics of this song, I was struck by the depth and poignancy of what I experience when we convene leaders and leadership teams.

“Everybody wants a place to place the blame

Cos who would wanna stand

and fall on their own sword…

The water's deep on both sides

We need each other if we wanna get by

The water's deep on both sides

But we don't seem to mind

Why are we building different bridges to cross the same river...

We keep waiting for the day somebody says their mind has changed

We would rather face the waves alone than see another way…”

These lyrics really got me thinking about how, as leaders, we are all trying to accomplish the same things – help our people to reach their potential and perform at their best while bringing results for our teams and organizations.  We do need each other and yet so often we would rather “face the waves alone than see another way”. 

In the work I get to do, there’s a problem that surfaces often that illustrates these lyrics.  It’s one that prevents us from creating better results and limits our potential. It’s not new but it is unique at this point in history.  Let me share with you what I’m talking about.

There’s no doubt that the world we live in is changing fast.  It’s changing so fast that our ability as humans to adapt is unable to keep up.

The fact is, change is creating so many shifts in our businesses today that many leaders are finding it hard to operate in our rapidly changing environment.  As humans, we naturally want to hold on to the past and maintain the status quo so it’s understandable why there’s so much anxiety in our workplace.

On top of that, the generational diversity of our companies and teams with generations spanning so many years offers us challenges that we’ve never had to face before.

Because there are four to five generations in the workplace today – coupled with the rapid pace of change, there’s friction.  It’s friction because each of the groups has grown up in and been programmed in distinctly different worlds. That friction can cause misunderstandings as well as slow down productivity and diminish performance.

One thing that isn’t new is that this divide has been around for a long time. Every generation before us thought that they had all the answers and the newer one wanted to do things their way.

At the heart of this generational divide is our human programming.

What I mean by that, is that each of us has been programmed to believe and act a certain way at a very young age.  That programming is influenced by how our parents and teachers were programmed and taught.  Which of course is driven by the environment around us and the influences we saw, heard and felt as young people.

The interesting thing is that in prior generations, the rate of change wasn’t as rapid as today’s generations are experiencing. So, the impact this has on how we do things in the workplace creates not only a cultural divide but also a communication problem.  That communication issue stems from each of us growing up in wildly different worlds. We have a language that reflects the world we grew up in, yet the newer generations create new words to reflect the realities of the environment they experienced.

How do we deal with this issue and reduce the impact to our organizational results?

First, we have to create an environment where all of our team members, regardless of their generational location, feel safe to express their views without being ridiculed or diminished.  To do this, we leaders have to be aware of our own internal biases and have a generous listening attitude.

In addition to awareness of biases and generous listening, we have to have a curiosity about others’ viewpoints.  To foster that, encourage asking questions. One question starter that I love is “hmmm, I wonder…”.  That starting point coupled with a “what” or “how” question can be the beginning of understanding our team’s perspectives.  

Next, it takes checking our ego at the doors of our workplaces.  Be willing to change your mind with an attitude that is seeking to find an answer, not just your answer.  That takes a level of maturity and emotional intelligence as a leader.

Create opportunities for and guidelines on healthy disagreement.  Just like the systems you have implemented in other parts of your business, you should have a system to allow for your team to communicate their perspective if it goes against prevailing thought.  Asking clarifying questions so that their views are understood is at the center of any system for allowing disagreement. Ask yourself, “what could I learn from their perspective?” before dismissing it without any thought or reflection.

Most importantly, recognize that each member of your team offers valuable insights and perspectives regardless of their age, gender, ethnicity or generational membership.  We need all of those perspectives.  As a matter of fact, we need the collective wisdom of all of our team especially if we want to overcome the effects of our rapidly changing world.

Finally, it does help to have an outside party facilitating the convenings of your leadership team so that your conversations are productive.  We can draw upon our facilitation skills of unlocking the wisdom and potential of your team so that you can concentrate on building only one bridge over the river you’re attempting to cross.  That will prevent wasted energy and precious valuable resources.

Let’s don’t face the waves alone because the water IS deep and we really do need each other!

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We would help you build a bridge of understanding and perspective with your team. Reach out to us for your next leadership team meeting and we’ll explore how we can help. (www.davidmcglennen.com)

Photo credit: Image by Christopher Klein from Pixabay